i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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