just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
