So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
