The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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