OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
