Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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