Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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