One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
