And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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