There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
