I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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