fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Someone signed my nipple.
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