it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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