Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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