I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
