You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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