She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Floor bacon is actually really good
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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