Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I believe in your delicious
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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