I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
