We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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