Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
