He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
