Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
its liver damage thursday
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
