Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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