I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
