What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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