I got chris browned last night
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
