OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
