Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
