went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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