I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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