Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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