He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
