he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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