Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
