I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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