Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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