How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
