If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
