Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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