Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're too hungover to prance.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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