Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
