she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
