i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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