The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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