in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
