wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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