Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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