I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
