The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
