Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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