the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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