Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
