Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
