It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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