And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
