I don't think brook has ever known best
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
